Proverbs and Emotional Intelligence
Proverbs convey wisdom, truth, and life lessons. While they may be specific to culture and used to deliver messages or reinforce beliefs, everyone can relate to them on some level.
I have become quite interested in and fond of African proverbs and their ability to teach moral values, wisdom, and how to live a good life. The lives of those who are self-aware and open to the wisdom and advice conveyed through African proverbs are enhanced by the deeper understanding of self-development they gain.
Research supports that emotional intelligence can be developed and improved through connecting to your core emotions and practicing mindfulness.
Reflecting on Daniel Goleman’s framework, emotional intelligence includes five (5) realms:
Know your emotions.
Manage your emotions.
Motivate yourself.
Recognize and understand other people’s emotions.
Manage relationships (others’ emotions)
These five realms are further broken down into four quadrants:
Self-Awareness.
Social Awareness.
Self-Management.
Relationship Management.
A few African proverbs I have come across that I relate and connect to some of the above components include the following:
Self-Awareness
“All is within yourself. Know your most inward self and look for what corresponds with it in nature.”
Self-awareness develops only when you get to know yourself on a deeper level. Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. If we are unable to self-reflect, we are unable to understand who we are and what we need.
For me personally, becoming self-aware has been a long process. I have worked incredibly hard to be able to achieve my strengths and recognize my weaknesses. Two of my biggest strengths are my patience and my perseverance, while my weakness is to remove myself from situations or put up walls to protect myself from failing or becoming hurt. Kindness and generosity fall somewhere between strength and weakness because although they are qualities that are identified as strengths within the virtue category of humanity, this does not translate to real-life and these qualities are often misinterpreted as a weakness or self-sacrifice instead.
Being in touch with my inward self has enabled me to be more open to ideas, environments, individuals, and groups who I connect the most with on a more meaningful level.
Social Awareness
“The fool speaks, the wise man listens”
Being able to recognize the strength in others allows you to understand how others are feeling, empathize with them, and exercise patience and compassion. Being socially aware enables you to be able to consider the perspectives of others and form strong relationships with other individuals, groups, and communities.
Patience has not come easy for me, but it is something I have had to learn as becoming frustrated or upset in stressful periods only make negative and uncomfortable situations worse. In addition, unfavorable reactions on my part caused me unnecessary anxiety, which was not healthy. To overcome this, I sought to recognize my triggers, acknowledge them, and work through them. It is unrealistic to expect that we can always control how we feel, but finding strategies to cope makes things easier. For instance, if I find myself in a situation where I become annoyed, I remind myself that the situation is only temporary and contains a number of variables that will not necessarily remain constant. In relationships with friends, partners, and co-workers, I have made conscious efforts to remind myself that I cannot let the qualities I like or value about someone be overshadowed by an immediate situation when circumstances are overwhelming or not ideal.
Relationships (friendships, partnerships, work relationships, etc)
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”
Being able to connect with others and express yourself without fear of judgement puts you in a better position to build strong value-adding relationships. Inviting individuals into your life who have a positive affective presence, who support you unconditionally, and who make you feel comfortable can help you to let go of self-judgement and love yourself.
Working together, supporting each other, having each other’s back, and communicating openly even when you do not agree or experience is the epitome of a healthy and meaningful relationship, whether it is a friendship, romantic partnership, or work relationship. These types of healthy and meaningful relationships are becoming increasingly rare for many reasons that include lack of effort or interest in finding solutions to problems when they arise.
Communication is vital to success in all situations. People are not mind readers, and unfavorable conditions or hiccups cannot be improved without communicating your feelings, wants, and needs in any circumstance. Communication is a two-way street and helps build trust, understanding, and respect, and is critical in reducing misunderstandings and conflict in all areas of our lives. Being able to communicate makes it easier to collaborate with others. While success can be achieved solo, when individuals combine strengths and apply individual skills to a common task, they create an interdependent system to address problems and find solutions.
What are some of your favourite African proverbs?